We're Monsters, You and I
by arya-starkles
Summary: Basically, Cesare and Lucrezia are a team and they kill those who are in their way. Cesare kills her awful husbands, traditionally with knifes, swords, etc. And Lucrezia uses her beauty to lure in his enemies and poisons them. This is a bunch of random stuff, so it isn't following a big structure.


**AUTHORS NOTE**: This loosely follows the story line in the show. There will be some Italian words included, just to spice things up. Sorry if my Italian isn't spot on, I'm counting on my two years of study and the internet to help me. Italian words/phrases will be in italics and I will have a glossary at the end translating said words/phrases. Also, I have changed a few things. First, Lucrezia still has Giovanni (the son of Paolo), but Giovanni has a twin sister that she names after her mother, Vanozza. And finally, Cesare and Lucrezia's relationship is becoming blurred between platonic and not (if that makes sense)—_err merr gerrd incest._

Rodrigo just left Lucrezia's chambers after cooing over her son and daughter for what seemed like an hour. He dismissed himself to get ready for the christening of her children, and she needed to get ready too; her hair was a knotty mess, and she needed a bath—badly. Lucrezia sighed and called out for her wet-nurse to take care of the kids as she got ready with the hand-maidens.

It took them an hour to de-knot her hair, _the troubles of mother hood, _she thought, sighing. Her hand-maidens filled the tub with scalding hot water, filled with different scents and aromas. They scrubbed her clean, and _hard, _it felt like her skin was being clawed off.

"Thank you, you may go…" Lucrezia said to her maids as she looked at herself in the mirror, admiring her new grey dress that had blue and gold woven into it—a gift from _La Bella._

…

Lucrezia scanned through the crowds of people, trying to find Cesare. The celebration went okay; Vanozza and Giovanni were both christened, they had a lovely feast, but then came the dances. Lucrezia wasn't in the mood for dancing right now, nor did she have the energy to do anything else—once again, _the troubles of mother hood…_

Lucrezia thought that if she left and hid somewhere that no one would really notice. She got up from her chair and skilfully got away from the hall and towards the stairs. Upon climbing it, she turned a corner and to her surprise, found her brother, Cesare, lying on some pillows on the ground; he was curled in a tight ball, his hands supporting his head. He looked so peaceful when he slept; his lips began to pout as his chest slowly rose and fell, and not to mention the soft snores and sighs that he made. She smiled and bent down, putting her hand on his cheek. He stirred awake, mumbling groggily.

"_Sorellina_? Is that you?" he said, blinking as his eyes adjusted to the light.

"Yes, _dolce fratello. _I'm sorry for waking you."

"How'd you find me here?" he asked, lifting himself up.

"I wanted to sleep here, but it appears that you've taken my hiding place…"

Cesare chuckled, wrapping his arms around his sister's waist and pulling her in closer, "I was here first, _mi amore…" _

Lucrezia cocked an eyebrow, "Ah that you were. But I am awfully tired, Cesare. May I take your place for a while? I am a mother who needs her rest, Cesare! Have a little compassion for your dear, _sorellina_"

"Perhaps we can share the spot? It's awfully cold up here…" he said, smirking a little, "And I could use the extra warmth…"

Lucrezia giggled, slapping her brother's chest, "What if they find us in such a compromising position? What would the masses say about us?"

Now Cesare was laughing too, "They'll shout incest from the tops of the Roman buildings! And it would deeply shame our family…_especially our Holy Father…_"

"And we wouldn't want to disappoint Papa…"

"No, we wouldn't" Cesare sighed and said, "So, shall we sleep?"

"_Si, dolce fratello…_"

They slept for a while in each-other's arms until she could feel Cesare stirring, waking up, groaning. He shook his sister lightly and leant in to her ear, his breath tickling her ear, "We should probably go now…" he whispered huskily, it gave her chills.

…

Lucrezia sunk into the scalding hot tub and closed her eyes, resting her arms on the sides of the porcelain tub. Lucrezia sighed, sinking deeper until her nose was just above the murky, scented water. She thought for a moment. She thought about what she's been doing for two years; being a killer, a cold hearted killer—along with her brother—she wondered why she even agreed to begin killing, and why she liked it so much. Perhaps it was the sheer thrill of it; the anticipation was something remarkable, an alien feeling to her previously. It was like an addiction, a bitter-sweet addiction. And she could only satisfy her craving for it with her brother.

Lucrezia rose and the handmaiden began scrubbing her lightly. Lucrezia winced when the girl went over a still tender—and now burning—bruise that her new husband had given her last night. Lucrezia had certainly gotten used to the slaps and punches. Knowing that her brother would be there soon was something for her to remember. She would imagine her husband's face when Cesare would finally push the blade through into his body; the squirming, the pleas, and the grand finale—death.

"May I speak with my sister alone?" a voice from the doorway asked. Lucrezia didn't look back, but she knew that it was her brother who had finally arrived.

Her handmaiden bowed and left, closing the door behind them.

"Little sister…" he said, smiling, as he came closer to the tub and bent down. His arms rested on the end of the tub, and his chin was buried in his arms.

"Big Brother…" she said, a small smile playing on her lips as she shifted her legs in the water, watching the roses swim around.

"So it seems that yet another husband has turned out to be unruly and monstrous, tut, tut" he shook his head, "But I bare gifts…" he reached into his bag and pulled out a beautiful dagger. He gave it to his sister and she examined it.

It was a beautiful blade, indeed, it was curved to a sharp point and the hit was black with gold woven into it with some sort of pattern. "It's extraordinary, Cesare. Where'd you get it?"

"I had it made especially for this occasion…" he said, shrugging, "I thought that if I was going to kill another man that I should at least do it with some elegance…"

Lucrezia chuckled, "Ah, yes," she said, "You've always had a great taste in weaponry…"

"So when shall I do the deed?" he asked.

"An hour and a half after dinner," she said, "He'll want to bed me, he always wants to recently…" she shuddered, "His usual route would take five minutes at the latest. If you hide in one of the empty corridors, then you can get him there—but _quietly. _Any sound and we're _both _done for…"

"As you wish," he said, "I shall be as quick as a snake, and as quiet as a shadow. I won't fail you, my love…" He stood up and bent down to give her a gentle kiss on her lips.

**GLOSSARY**

_La Bella – The nickname of Guila Farnese_

_Sorellina – little sister_

_Dolce Fratello – Sweet Brother_

_Mi Amore – My love_

_Si – Yes_

_{__**remember**__; I'm not very good at Italian. These came from the back of an assassin's creed brotherhood book and from the web, aaaand from my two years of studying the language. So please don't hate me if it's wrong in any way, the language has all of these rules and blerh}_


End file.
